Please stop patting me on my head

It is a mildly to moderately, but certainly disconcerting sensation to be repeatedly patted on the head by an Irishman every time he spots an impala.

I understand his excitement - first time in Africa and all, but bladdy fak man, leave my head alone man! What ever happened to a polite statement that gently gets your attention, something like..... 'Ooh look, an impala on the left'. The problem was the force of his slapping was directly proportional to his level of excitement. A tap on the head eventually progresses to a kLAP op die kop, when he spotted creatures more exciting than impala. Thank goodness I spotted that wild dog before him, and then had the presence of mind to use my mongoose like agility to project my neck foward at great pace, managing to propel my head out of reach just in time to avoid a mighty slap from behind. :)

The bush has been looking fairly scorched of late with no rain since mid November, and most days have been very hot at around 35-40 degrees. A couple days ago we experienced our first bush thunderstorm, and wow, it was a biggie. 47mm of rain in about 30 mins left me and a couple Irishmen sopping wet whilst out on an evening game drive. By the time we got back to camp we looked like we had been swimming up and down the Limpopo fully clad. Seriously, I have been drier after getting out of the swimming pool.

We've had a pretty busy time since arriving back on Christmas day. It was really nice to spend Christmas eve with the family in Nelspruit, before starting up early on the 25th to make it back to Pafuri in time to guide 4 Honkeys (apparently this is the name people from Hong Kong choose to refer to themselves). You may now know my attitude towards Asians on safari, and the next 3 days proceeded in a similar fashion to the 7 chinamen we had just before we went on leave. Talk about a flurry of chinamen eh?!

New years was quite nice. We had a bustling camp, with a good vibe, and we all celebrated the arrival of 2010 at ..... errrr......GMT +1.... yes thats 11pm SA time. In the bush it is customary in some places (ok very few), to celebrate the new year at 10 or 11 o clock in the evening instead of the usual midnight, because as there are so few of you - what's really the point of staying up an extra hour when you can all just cheer and toast new beginnings at a more convenient hour? So that we did, and welcomed in the new year at the same time as our brothers in .... errrr... Istanbul ... and other places on GMT+1. There were no big bright lights, no countdowns, no loud music - just 20 people wishing eachother 'All the best mate'

I have not had much chance to walk lately, but didnt really write about an awesome week we had at the start of December where we had 6 Canadians who loved doing bush walks, and so we ended up doing a 4 hr morning walk every day and then just game driving in the afternoon. A perfect safari format in my opinion. You really do get the best of both worlds. We had some great experiences. One morning we crept up to a large sleeping bull white rhino in the sandveld area just east of Palm Springs. Oh my hat - it was close. We got to 20m max. We stared at him for 5 minutes. Completely oblivious to our presence it was, until an almost inaudible metallic click made by someones rifle (ok mine), caused the sleeping giant to rise up to his feet in an explosion of dust and lightning quick action. There he stood staring in the direction of the noise, but not seeing us just 20m away. Wow - these chaps have seriously poor eyesight, but amazingly acute hearing. Anyway, there we had this face-off for what felt like ages, tension palpable, until the rhino trotted forward straight at us! Eek now what? I was certainly not even considering shooting this rhino (one of only 8 in the concession), and would have rather taken my chances diving for cover (behind the scrawny twig of a bush we were crouched behind), when Andrew (the lead guide) simply clapped his hands, which sent the great beast charging off at 100mph in the opposite direction. What happened next I could nevert have predicted - loud snorting noises began to be emitted from Andrew's mouth, which he later told us was the sound a territorial bull rhino makes, which he was now attempting to mimic in the hope that the fleeing rhino might stop and turn, so that the Canadians might get another photo. Amongst the adrenaline pumping through my veins, I almost burst into bouts of uncontrollable laughter, but luckily managed, somehow, to contain myself.

Anyway it's a ridiculous thought - a 2 and a half ton beast terrified by the clap of ones hands. Over the millenia us human beings have certainly done a good job of installing an overwhelming fear in almost every creaure on the planet, through our hunting, habitat destruction, and general annihilation of all things wild. Wow - we have a bad reputation.

The next morning I had my first encounter with an elephant on foot, exactly 1 month after 'the elephant story'. We got to within 60m from a lone big bull, who watched us from across a dried up pan. I must say I probably wouldnt have approached that close, considering we had a fine view from 100m back, but I realise I'm probably over cautious now when it comes to ellies. Anyway it turned out to be a very lekker encounter, with us watching him scratch himself all over against a well placed tree, before making a safe retreat without him following us, although at one stage it looked like he may have done so. A good experience, and I need many more of those, before I start believing that most ellies are not gonna try to flatten you.

On the last morning we did a very pleasant walk to Mashisiti Spring. A bizarre thing happened as we drove into the quarry to park the landy. A big, old dagga boy was loitering around the area and must have been in a terribly grumpy state of mind, because as we drove along side him, he spun around from 25m and charged at the vehicle! What-die-f0k? A buffalo charging at us in a car?? Man my brain took a while to register that. I must have driven past thousands of buffs in the past - not one has even looked like remotely considering running into a 2 ton piece of metal. But this bull came. Andrew whose side of the landy it was running towards, yelled loudly and banged the door, which did the trick and stopped & turned the buff. He then did not make any snorting noises, which I was half expecting. All in all, not a very auspicious start to a morning out on foot, when the buff would not be very far from where we parked the landy. Thank the pope, we didnt see him again.

Andria's Comrades training is going pretty well. She's up to about 60km a week. Mostly on the treadmill in our room, but we occasionaly go out and she does a long one on the tar road from Pafuri gate outside the park. I follow along in the Microbus, ready to let her in, when dogs, cows, donkeys or goats decide to chase her. I'm alos quite handy in that I carry cold water and good supplies of energy bars and raisins.

My folks bought us a very practical and excellent Christmas present - an AIR-CONDITIONER. Yesssss pleasse! Imagine our excitement as we set off on Christmas day with a brand new Air-con loaded into the back of our car. No more hot muggy nights and no more wet sarongs draped over our bodies at night. Then imagine our despair, as after setting up the air-con and putting it on full blast in 39 degree heat, it managed to get our room down to 36, before having a ........ errrr......... MALFUNCTION

oh noooooooooooooooo!!!!! Please dont let it be, it cannot be true! Serious panic and disappointment set in. I really thought the heat had claimed yet another victim. None of the buttons were working, just a red flashing light saying ' ALARM'. Eeeek

And then ......... it came to life. Sweet bejesus, the lights came back on! From the dead! And since then, good ol aircon seems to have adapted and is now pumping vast columns of cool, oh so cool precious air all over our bedroom. A mighty relief. Seems the little guy, had just a temporary malfunction. Although its no arctic wind, it definitely makes a massive difference. His record low so far is a very cool 23 degrees. What a beauty.

Andria & I will be back on 4 Feb 2010.

happy Happy, and merry Merry to all - may it be a cracker of a year!